"Patriotic" doesn

Eric,
I NEED you to get word to me that you're ok. I can't handle another night of laying awake and worrying, not knowing where you are or if you're ok. I understand you're in transit. But please do what you can. I'm not handling this well. Kuba spent all night trying to talk about you coming back, trying to get me excited for it, and I can't do that yet. I can't get my hopes up yet, because if it doesn't happen, it will crush me. He's excited to get to see the ceremonies and welcome you guys home. He keeps saying "to show your support". Support of our troops doesn't mean hanging a flag on the 4th of july or clapping when someone is being recognized. People may think it's patriotic to show up and hug a veteran, make them feel like they've done a good deed. Where were these people when fathers missed the birth of their children, their first steps, first words? Supporting you has been my every day reality for a year and a half. I may not have a 50 foot american flag in my yard, but I have all the love in my heart saved for one soldier. I was faithful to a man halfway across the world and fighting for a cause neither of us believed in, but for a country we love. One day of parades and floats doesn't show your support of veterans. Shovel an injured soldier's walk, volunteer to babysit so he can have a night out with his wife.
I guess I'm just tired of people suddenly thinking I should be excited for you to come home, or grateful for what you do. I've been LIVING those things for the last year and a half. Because I stuck. I'm still here. I can't think about that day yet, because I know the military and the date will change. I won't let it crush me. I understand their desire for the spectacle, though. It's appreciation for those who don't want to ACTUALLY get their hands dirty. But we've been in the mud since day one. I don't want one day in red, white, and blue with you, Eric. I couldn't care less about the decorations or circumstances. I want forever in your arms. And I need to hear from you to know that I'm not hanging my hopes on a pipe dream. I need to know you're still coming back. Because I don't want to do this without you. You're the reason I'm here.
So please... Come home soon.
Keila