I LOVE lightning bugs! They come out as the sky is painted with the sunset, during the most beautiful part of the year. You relax after a hard day, enjoy a cold drink as its condensation drips on your bare legs & toes, & they appear. Tiny balls of magic lit on fire, desperately searching for each other, silently illuminating the night amidst the joyous screams of neighborhood children not yet called in for the night...
Friday, June 20, 2014
Friday, May 30, 2014
Tina's Laser Pointer
Funny
thoughts of the day: I had to grab a tube of coffee cups from the top of the
cabinet, and realized... how the hell did tina get that giant box of cups up
there???
there
were only a few tubes left, so I put them on the cabinet, and i realized ...
that box is big enough for her to fit in.
Totally
impossible!
tina
in a box
*cue
"Pop goes the weasel"
Hahaha
yeah,
i'm imagining the annoyed look on her face when she stood
up.
like,
"are you DONE YET?"
She
is a cat lady, i'm sure she would enjoy that.
but
in my head, she's wearing a durndl.
LMAO
"If
I fits, I sits"
LMAO
omg....
Totally
relevant.
ROTFL
i'm still laughing....
I
can stop running cats in tiny boxes images through my
head.
hahaha
or that cat that jumps into tall boxes and just ...
splat..
wait
a few minutes and he'll jump back out...
I'm
gonna put a box in her office and see what
happens.
lol
Write
her name on the outside
*shove*
Tape
it shut
Ship
it to Guangdong China
"Go,
live with your people"
LOL
omg
Now
I have this image in my head of her eating cat food out of a can with her
fingers. Jesus i'm sick!
FEVERISHLY
LOL
I
want to dangle a feather in front of her
watch
her bat at it.
LASER
POINTER
LOL
i'm the only one laughing in here....
Everyone
else is dead. Inside.
cover
her desk in catnip... watch her roll around on it and rub herself on
it
LOL
i
can see you doing that.
just
not with catnip
Tina
- Now self cleaning
LMAO
if
i ever see her lick her fingers, i swear
LOL!!!
laser
pointer...box....
Anytime
I see her I think Cat anyway. Nothing new to me.
lol
a
smoking cat. right meow.
I
thought you'd like that.
Business
cat.
I
need to find some good business cat memes. I laugh so hard at
them.
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1)
why don't you have snapchat??
2) I have that stuck in my head now. OO EE, OO AH AH... TING TANG... LLAMA LLAMA PIG BANG..
2) I have that stuck in my head now. OO EE, OO AH AH... TING TANG... LLAMA LLAMA PIG BANG..
so...
remember
when they used to put babies out in the woods for a few days to see if they'd
survive before they even bothered to care for them?
now
think of That Kid in Dylan's class with the peanut
allergy.
Yeah.
I
don't remember that but it seems like a real thing.
LOL
it
IS a real thing.
they
used to put babies out on a rock for a few days. if they didn't survive, they
assumed they weren't strong enough to make it, so they didn't
bother.
Well
that's interesting.
it's
also why you traditionally were "named" (officially) at your christening/bris.
bris is usually 8 days after birth, christening is whenever they get around to
it and your mom can walk again (assumedly)... so they didn't bother naming you
until they knew you'd live.
Hahaha
well I can understand that part. Very
interesting...
after
writing "bris is usually 8 days after birth", i thought, "why the hell do i know
that?! is that accurate??" so i looked it up.
It
is, indeed, accurate.
WHY
DO I KNOW THESE THINGS?!?!
Great
question! LOL
did
you have dylan christened/baptized? (it's Dylan, right? i'm not screwing up the
spelling??)
Dylan
is correct, and no, none of that nonsense. lol
what's
his middle name?
(sheer
curiosity)
Christopher
is
your middle name Dylan???
Michael.
My dad's name.
ah.
I'm
Christopher Michael Baker
CMB,
DCB...
He's
Dylan CHristopher Baker
Keila
Ann Marie McCarty
Keila
Ann Marie McCarty Webb
Thought
i'd keep the whole name thing going.
lol
LOL
I
was almost...
Keila
Ann Marie McCarty Webb
Oleszko Schultz
That's
a mouth-full.
whenever
i'm bummed about being single and not getting laid, i think of one thing and I'm
healed:
I
COULD STILL BE WITH MY EX.
FREEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Hahahah
it's so true. I know exactly how that feels.
i
found out my ex husband got divorced from his second
wife.
and
I laughed.
he's
amazing - he can't seem to get the women he's married to pregnant... but he can
certainly get the other girls he's sleeping with WHILE married pregnant... he's
up to 4 or 5 now...
PRICELESS
Now
that's talent!
or
just throwing your 'stuff' around like that, takes courage.
lol
you
act like it's a THOUGHT for him.
this
is the same guy who asked me, "which goes on first, shampoo or
conditioner?"
Hahahaha
You're
right, some just don't think. I can't NOT think.
it's
a little more old-school around here.
in
some ways, anyway...
the
male/female interactions are about 20 years behind. in WI, it's more of the
girl's responsibility to cover herself, and a JOINT DECISION to try. and she
doesn't see it as a burden to make sure she's covered, but as a relief to know
she IS covered. "my body, my choice" kind of thing.... It's bizarre to me that
"my body, my choice" here seems to mean "I don't want to get proper care for
myself, so he should just wear a condom then"
Haha
"my
body, my choice" seems to mean "use my body as my choice of financial planning
methods to rope a guy into paying for me".
Birth
control, what's that?
EXACTLY
HOWEVER
- Ohio is ahead of WI in racial interactions.
Not
the best way to attract a mate.
you
say that, but I'M SINGLE
LOL
I
said attract. Once they get close enough (lol) they hook em like a fish for 18
years.
a
lot of the african american people I know in WI are from milwaukee, and from
"the hood", and speak in ebonics. they aren't very well-educated. But most of
those I know here are just normal people who happen to have more melanin. there
just isn't as high of a percentage of african americans in WI yet, so they're
still a bit segregated.
We
are in the suburbs. They are around here too, trust me. But yeah most people in
this area don't act the way you described, mostly because us whitey's outnumber
them by a large margin. lol
Actually,
I know more white people that act that way than black. There are still too damn
many in my opinion.
I
don't care what color you are, I don't understand the decision to segregate
yourself from the rest of the population and identify yourself as less educated,
less cultured, more ignorant, and more
intolerant.
just
... don't get it.
Because
they really are ignorant and intolerant. It's how they were
raised.
there's
the argument "that's what they grew up with"... but it's a CHOICE to not open a
book, open your eyes, look around, ask questions, and get
experience.
But
that's not what everyone else is doing. The cool kids. The gang bangers.
LOL
if
the excuse "that's what they grew up with" was valid, we'd all be speaking
german, italian, french, spanish, chinese, etc, living in dirt-floor huts, and
burning bison patties for heat.
not
valid.
I
guess I don't understand those who don't take the information they're given,
process it for themselves, and come to their own
conclusions.
but
that's something that's inherent to both of our
personalities.
Not
everyone is a thinker. Thinkers are the minority. Most are sheep.
Sheeple
ROTFL
LOL
And
now, to Ollie Williams with the weather. Ollie?
IT'S
GON' RAIN!!!!!
Thanks,
Ollie.
LOL
goes
through my head every time it's gonna rain
or
when it's hot and I want a pool.... "SWIMMIN' HOLE!"
I
think it sums it up pretty good.
the
hurricane one.... all you see is an umbrella go
by...
LOL
they
need one for snow.
"MITTENS!!!!"
STAY
INSIDE
"PEOPLE
CAN'T DRIVE!"
oh!!
oh!!
I
have it!
"HOT
COCOA!!"
LOL
....
"HOT COCOA AND A SNUGGIE!"
CHOCOLATE
RAIN
ROTFL
"HOT
COCOA" is if it's cold.
"SWIMMIN' HOLE" is if it's hot.
"IT'S GON' RAIN!" is raining.
"4-LETTER S WORD!" is snowing.
"SWIMMIN' HOLE" is if it's hot.
"IT'S GON' RAIN!" is raining.
"4-LETTER S WORD!" is snowing.
i
don't know that we need much more than that.
That
reall covers it pretty well
I'm
standing by "MITTENS!" as another option
I
really want to hear him yell "MITTENS".
OH!!
allergies?
"TREE SPERM!"
"TREE SPERM!"
YOU
GON' SNEEZE
I
now want an app that i push a button and it tells me the weather forecast in
Ollie terms.
When
i was a kid, a "snuggie" was a wedgie. You wanted to keep your underwear OUT of
your @ss. Now people wear thongs that are SUPPOSED to go in there, and a snuggie
is a blanket. Let me tell you something, people - IT'S JUST A BACKWARDS ROBE!
Take a page from Hugh Hefner's book - wear a robe, not a snuggie, and you'll get
less wedgies and see more thongs!
LOL
Words
of Widsom
the
things i think about...
Must
have had a wedgie this morning lol
nope,
i saw our convo from yesterday about Ollie yelling "COCOA AND A SNUGGIE" and
thought of it
Oh
ok haha
totally
annoying thing: my dr said he won't give me any more ambien cuz "Ambien can
cause sleep disturbance, this will be discussed at your next visit. The quantity
was decreased to 5 tablets to be used
discretely."
seriously??
I was just there last week. he didn't say ANYTHING about this. my next appt
isn't for 3 months.
here's
5 pills to get you through 3 months.
ass.
Hahahaha.
well that sucks big time. Sleep aids rule.
i
know. ADHD, man...
Yeah
meds for that are great too
in
order for us to function normally during the day, we have to pump ourselves up.
which means we don't come down until like ... 3
am
LOL
Eh
i've been off coffee for months now and I don't really drink mtn dew daily. All
natural
I
would be staring at a wall, stuck in my head.
didn't
take much for my body to get use to being awake.
coming
up with more snuggie/hugh hefner/thong
comparisons
ADHD
Yeah
i'd say so haha that's a problem.
Get
some ritalin, you'd get SO MUCH done.
I'm
thinking about asking my doctor for some
i'm
on adderall.
Yeah
that's what I meant. idk why I was thinking
ritalin
damn
south park!
Yeah
I need that. script please
i
love how she described it, though. "ambien can cause sleep disturbance." um..
yeah, that's why you PRESCRIBED it.
durrr
LOL
i'm taking it because I can't sleep. How does this make
sense
i
think they're saying "once you use it to fall asleep, you won't be able to fall
asleep without it."
KEEP
THE PILLS COMING, BITCH
yet
again... SO GIVE ME MOER
LOL
yep
argh.
i
enjoyed crashing your meeting
i
learned my lesson from crystal - start all IMs with something
PG
LOL
yeah good idea. My pc is typically on the projector if i'm in a meeting
haha
I
know. hence why I just said "argh".
i
was going to say something about the fact that I couldn't find my
nuts.
(I
had a bag of almonds for a snack, but couldn't find them in my
cabinet...)
thought
you'd enjoy that.
LOL
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