Music ruined by memories - great song, then some douchbag guy got entangled in your enjoyment of it and memory of it.  that's crap!

Mom.... You were right. :)

SHORT VERSION: You were right, God is good, and it is essential to have something bigger than you on which to rely when things get tough. Thanks for dragging me to church and showing me the ropes.

LONG VERSION:

I had a dr appt this morning and was able to escape the office. It only took 5 mins, though so I had some extra time... and I did something I've never done before.... I stopped by church. I felt like He was calling me; I just HAD to go. The doors were even locked, so I just wound up sitting in a little garden area praying on a bench. But I forgot what it feels like to bare your sins, experience the disgrace and shame, (while you feel like He's holding your hand and hugging you at the same time despite all you're confessing), .... and then the feeling when you walk out of church knowing it's forgiven. You're just as loved, just as cherished. I feel like I was admitting the transgressions more to myself than to God, because He already knows. but that feeling of forgiveness, of filling your spiritual cup...I hadn't felt that in years.

Which brings me to the "you were right". You always said you didn't care what religion we were, just that we could have something to believe in, something to lean on in the tough times. He has gone out of His way in the last year to show me that I am not in control. He is. That He has a plan, and I need to trust it, even if I can't see it, predict it, or prepare for it (because He is preparing me for it). He's made it OBVIOUS that He's placed amazing people in my path to help me through and guide me (I am indescribably humbled and awed by that). You are ABSOLUTELY one of those people. You were right, Mom. Your insistence at dragging me to church allowed me to forge a personal relationship with God, and the confidence/ability to speak to Him directly. Knowing the rituals and rules and feeling you belong in a place of worship are indispensable. It centers you.

I know I fought you, I know I questioned, but you were right. I need God in my life. Mother really does know best!!! I love you so much!

To God:  Thanks for having my back, even when I forgot to 'return your call'.  Please open my eyes to what you're trying to show me so you can better mold me to be your instrument.  I love you.