For the record: yelling "fore" is stupid.
1 - if you're actually about to hit someone, you NEVER think of yelling "FORE" first. You think "Heads up!" or "Watch it!" or "INCOMING!"
1 - if you're actually about to hit someone, you NEVER think of yelling "FORE" first. You think "Heads up!" or "Watch it!" or "INCOMING!"
2 - if you hear "fore", you don't think, "there's a ball coming. I'd better duck." you think, "Four what?" or "that guy is mad at his stroke count..."
3 - there really is no other game where you have one specific word for "WATCH OUT". it'd make more sense to yell the same thing you do at a baseball game when you need to watch out: "FOUL BALL!"
cuz... it is foul... it's out of bounds....
you don't yell something at hockey games, do you? "PUCK!" ? And if golf is a gentleperson's game, why have i heard more four-letter "F" words on a golf course....
Me:
anybody else think of st. jude's not as "aww, they're helping sick kids for free" but "they're using sick kids as guinea pigs to see what fixes them and what kills them before we charge people for it"?
Chris:
I could absolutely see that. Quite disturbing but the reality of most situations like that is it's a necessary evil. How many people had to die from a heart attack until they got it right? lol
But the kid shit is pure marketing. I'm sure they make a fortune.
Me:
it reminds me of concentration camps.
the reason so many medical advances were made from the 1930s to the 1950s was because of the tests they did in the camps, and the sh*t they tried on soldiers
Chris:
Exactly. Progress typically comes in the name of doing some fucked up shit.
At least when it comes to medical experiments. Back then there was no good way to see what was going on on the inside without fileting someone alive.
Me:
it comes on the back of using some demographic for labor/testing at very low/no wages. however you want to identify them as "other"... color, religion, sex, native language...
Chris:
Sick stuff man...
Me:
they fileted people alive for entertainment (and punishment). but they considered the really good ones the guys who could cut someone's abdominal cavity open and keep them alive while they removed their intestines, stomach, and finally their heart - so they could hold it up in front of them while their brain still had oxygen
Chris:
Ooh how lovely!
LOL
Me:
a screwed up kind of talent, man.
Chris:
I'm sure they just practiced on animals or something, practice makes perfect!
Me:
oh, that makes it better then.
LOL
Chris:
Totally OK!
Hell, kill them all, God made them to eat.
LOL
Me:
life was a bit more expendable then - when they didn't have the option of whether to have kids or not, or to heal them when they're sick (antibiotics, money to pay for care, etc)....
it wasn't just "oh, well, we CAN have another one" it was "oh, well, we HAVE TO HAVE another one"
cuz celibacy... screw that, man.
Chris:
Duh that's a no-brainer. That's why aprons don't have a back on them.
Me:
apparently pope francis said the celibacy thing is up for debate in the catholic church. I think it's about time that falls. when the life expectancy was 35, being celibate is tough enough, but now that it's 85.... man, frustrating a natural system in the body for that long has lead to some screwed up urges in these locked-up priests, man.
Chris:
Yeah we all know what those kind of people are capable of. lol
Me:
"we're going to put you in a group of all men, make you wear dresses, large hats like british women wear to weddings, and beaded necklaces. Then you'll sing AT a group of people a few times per week, throw water at them, walk through the crowd and act as the smoke machine, and then sit in a little, dark cabinet and listen to them tell you all the darkest, most screwed-up things they did in the last week."
this sounds like a gay club. tell me it doesn't.
you get to educate young boys on the life and make them kneel for as long as you please .... duuuuuuuuuuude
Chris:
Oh boy...
That's what they say
LOL
Me:
and we're going to put a bunch of virgins next door, too.
LOL
Chris:
Sounds like a frat movie in the making.
I'd like some of that
Haha
Me:
hahaha omg you're right... candles, incense, oil, water, graphic nude murals, organ music....
LMAO
Chris:
LOTS of oil
Hahaha
Chris:
Pray, b*tch!
Me:
omg...
hilarious
Chris:
"OMG i'm praying so hard right now"
Me:
ROTFL
USE YOUR HANDS, TOO.
not just your lips!
Chris:
HAHAHAHA
It will make me pray harder
So I can spread my love of Jesus...
ALL OVER YOUR FACE
Me:
you have to eat part of him, take part of him into your body to truly love him and be blessed.
Chris:
I encourage you to eat all of it, though. Just to be safe.
Me:
and drink more wine
and bring your kids to watch!!
Chris:
Gotta save the chirren.
Me:
but don't worry, we'll take them aside and have an "adults only" time for just a little bit.
we wont' tell you waht we're doing with them or where they are, but it's probably the basement, and you won't know until it's too late.
Chris:
LOL
Definetly the basement
Me:
stained glass windows, uncomfortable chairs, creepy dolls and statues that seem to stare at you, smells funny, you're supposed to go there for easter and christmas... it's like your grandma's. without the pie.
Chris:
Oh there's pie!
LOL
Me:
you have to stay late and go into the basement.
and maybe help with some "projects"
and they call it something weird, just like grandma, too. grandma calls it "visiting". they call it "fellowship".
you're gossiping. admit it. you're talking about who's pregnant, who slept with whom, who wore what, how revealing something was, who swore, who was fired/drank too much...
US WEEKLY: Church version
Chris:
Church was the original gossip mag, people know where the money is and they follow. LOL but you're 100% right.
Me:
this is the most interesting conversation i've had in months.
Chris:
I'm a sick fuck, idk what to tell ya. lol
Me:
so am I. So am I.
isn't it FANTASTIC?!
AMAAAAAAAAAAAAZEEEEEBAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLS
Chris:
I love it. Haha!
Me:
or "testacular", if you prefer.
Chris:
LOL!!!
Me:
see? we need to hang out more.
Chris:
I know it
Here soon I won't have to work so many hours and that will help. Dylans schedule will be getting settled down too I hope.
Me:
good. cuz then we can golf more. or just ... i don't know, SOMETHING
Chris:
Something is always better than nothing.
well most of the time.
Me:
lol
Chris:
To use my buddie's term appropriately "Just the tip"Me:
I like that game.
Chris:
LOL
Great way to get your "foot in the door"
Me:
I was talking to a guy who works with my mom, has known her for years.
he said, "Let me give you a tip..."
me, in a valley girl accent, "How come guys are always trying to give me just the tip?"
he LOST it.
Chris:
LOL
I could see that
I'm sure he didn't see that coming!
Me:
no. he looked at my mom, looked at me, tears in his eyes, and said "what happened here?! she's so sweet, and you're..." "cursed with my father's sense of humor?"
Chris:
Haha poisoned!
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